The Way I Loved You
by Emi234
Summary: Love is never a smooth road. Theirs was frustrating, passionate, all - consuming and pure. It was love in a time of war...


**Hello everyone, welcome to my new site. This is my new Jily fanfiction and I hope you all like it, hopefully it will be better than things I have written before, we shall see….**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any related universe.**

**Chapter One – Lost and Found**

The Black Lake's dark waters lapped at the pebbly shore like a lullaby; but its soothing tune did nothing to ease the mind of the bank's sole occupant. The redhead sat on the edge of the gnarled body of a fallen tree, her mind racing, her eyes gazing into the lake's shadowing depths, as of waiting for a much desired answer to float to the surface. But to no avail. The waters kept their knowledge to themselves.

The sudden weight of a blanket dropping onto her shoulders broke her from her reverie, looking up she saw that the mysterious company was, and it did not improve her mood, none other than James Potter. The raven – haired boy remained silent lowering himself precariously onto the pebbles, hoping against hope that this was an acceptable distance to keep.

"You know I think you're an arse." Lily's version of a greeting sliced through the silence.

"Yes. _I _think I'm an arse. Remus thinks I'm an arse and so does Peter. Heck even Sirius was coming round to the idea." James responded, knowing that the last part was not entirely true.

"Is that what you came here to tell me? That your friends have finally shot down that over – inflated ego of yours? Well it's about bloody time. But if you'll excuse me I have some peace and quiet to find." She stood up; making to walk away, but the sound of feet scrambling over pebbles halted her.

"Evans wait!" Lily spun around and James was all of a sudden reminded of how tall she really was a prospect which had on more than one occasion unnerved him, particularly when drawn wands were thrown into the equation.

"I came here to apologise." The redhead felt her eyes widen with surprise; it was not that she thought of James as a bad person, in fact she would even call him a decent sort of bloke. However in cases involving Slytherins it was unheard of for Potter or any of his pose to apologise.

"For what exactly?" Lily held her ground, green eyes boring into hazel, "for humiliating me in front of the entire school, for hanging Sev- Snape upside- down or for hexing people just for the sheer thrill?" James had the decency to look ashamed, but did not let his gaze falter.

"All of it. I was a cocky bastard and I was overdue being knocked down a peg or two. Especially if it's by you." He flashed her a ghost of a lop sided smile and Lily instantly reminded a few of her rebellious butterflies to behave themselves. Instead she gave him a nod and returned to her perch on the fallen tree, this time James, feeling that the borders had retracted a fraction, joined her.

"I guess I should've seen it coming." It was a mere whisper, "He had changed so much; his mood, his ideals, his _social circle._" She practically spat the last part.

"Whether you expected it or not, he had no reason to call you… that." She continued to stare out across the lake.

"Stay out here as long as you want. I know Remus will be more than happy to sign you off patrols." He gave her shoulder a light squeeze and was amazed when she did not bat his hand away.

"Thank you." It was so quiet, so small that he almost missed it over the scrunch of stones under his feet. He gave her a nod she did not see and carried on towards the castle.

Lily listened to his footsteps until they faded into nothing, her mind which upon his arrival had been reeling with a million thoughts, now focused on just one: 'What a strange creature you are James Potter.'

**J&amp;L**

"Stop cheating!" The exasperated female voice welcomed James to the Gryffindor common room. His attention was at once pulled towards the small huddle closest to the fireplace.

"I'm not!" Piped up a voice that James knew at once as Peter Pettigrew's, approaching James realised that they were occupied in a rather heated game of poker.

"Back me up here Prongs, they think I cheat."

"We know you cheat!" James laughed and found his opinion chorused by Remus and Sirius.

"He's got four pairs of eyes on him and he still manages it." The girl sitting opposite Peter said in an outraged voice. She had wavy blonde hair, chocolate brown eyes and a distribution of freckles across her nose and cheeks.

"Be careful Wormtail, Mar is getting her wand firmly in a knot." Sirius said in an annoying sing – song sort of voice.

"Piss off Black, just because I beat you," She snapped. "I know you can't be an attractive loser but at least be a quiet one." James inwardly cringed for his friend; clearly Sirius and Marlene were having yet another bad spell.

"How'd it go?" The boy to James' right whispered to him. James gave a small shrug, how was Lily doing? She was a mystery at the best of times and at the worst she was as barricaded as the fortress of Azkaban.

"She's still hurting I think." He whispered back, the other boy gave him an understanding look.

"Give it time. I'm sure Alice will let me know when things have cooled off."

"Thanks Frank." James said genuinely, with that the two boys returned their attention to the game which had now progressed to Peter being given the full pat – down by Sirius and a rather reluctant Remus in search of any missing cards.

**J&amp;L**

Lily was one of the first students to emerge into the Great Hall the next morning, feeling exhausted but nonetheless with a clearer head than the night before. She had not left her post by the lake until well past midnight. She had narrowly avoided Filch, Mrs Norris and Professor Colvus, the desire not to be caught out of bed yet again being a very strong factor in her side – splitting sprint to the Portrait Hole. Despite all of this, she had finally come to the realisation of just how blind she had been, how toxic and controlling Severus had been over the years and she had merely brushed it aside as a phase. From this, yet another and even more astounding realisation had reared its head, the reason she had not allowed herself to get closer to Potter or any of his group, except for Remus; was not as she had fooled herself – that they were an idiotic bunch of troublemakers, but that she knew Severus would never have approved, that it would have made everything so much more complex and instead she had decided to take the easier route.

Suddenly a whole list of possibilities lay before her and she felt exhilarated.

"Look: I found a Lily." Marlene's overly cheerful voice knocked Lily from her thoughts as she noticed the aforementioned blonde striding down the length of the table, followed by their fellow Gryffindor fifth year Emmeline Vance and Rose Blanche, a sixth year Hufflepuff. Lily also noticed the boys in the hall swivel round to stare somewhat unattractively at Rose, for it was a well – known fact the chestnut – haired beauty was one of the most desired girls at Hogwarts.

"To say 'found' implies she was hiding. Probably searching for some tranquillity that you have now ruined. I'm sorry Lil but you know what a force of nature Mar can be in the mornings." Emmeline apologised, her rich dark skin glowing radiantly in the sunlight streaming through the windows.

The redhead gave her an understanding smile, Marlene had always been the very epitome of a morning person. A source of constant aggravation to her roommates. But a Saturday morning was never a Saturday morning if not awoken by Marlene's chipper attitude.

The girls were halfway through their breakfast when the arrival of four more Gryffindors issued a deep groan from Marlene.

"Oh look who it is," Neither Rose, Emmeline nor Lily had to look up in order to see that her gaze rested unwaveringly upon one of the four boys in particular. "Merlin failed me yet again when I directed him to have Black swallowed by a Hippogriff."

"I know I'm going to regret this, but what is the deal with you two?" Rose asked grimacing, whilst Emmeline was shaking her head adamantly behind Marlene.

"The usual I presume: Black behaved like a prig and now Marlene is cooking up a world of revenge in order to pay him back." Lily said without looking up from her porridge. Marlene looked scandalised.

"Are you implying that I am that predictable?" Emmeline gave a snort that she tried, rather unsuccessfully to hide with a cough.

"Mar, where Sirius Black is concerned you are nothing but predictable."

The rest of breakfast was passed with the normal banter and groans of those who were unfortunate enough to have either Divination or History of Magic as their first lesson.

When James, Sirius, Remus and Peter got up to leave, Lily who felt as though she had been sitting on live wires for some considerable time, practically leapt to her feet to catch up with them.

"Potter," She caught up with them at the entrance to the Great Hall. "May I have a word." The other three gave a fleeting look between the two fifth years and resumed their journey up the marble staircase, Sirius looking as though he was very much doing so against his better judgement.

"If this is about last night-" the black haired boy began, but Lily cut him off.

"Yes this is about last night. It was right what you said, but I was thinking I haven't always been fair to you either. I guess what I am trying to say is that neither of us is perfect." Lily could feel a blush creeping up her neck and flooding her cheeks. "So maybe we should, I don't know, try to be friends?" James' lips lifted immediately into a cheeky smile as he stuck out his hand in a very formal fashion.

"Imperfect friends." Lily grinned and gripped it.

"Imperfect friends."

**That's the first chapter, hope you liked it, please review. The title of this story is based upon a Taylor Swift song of the same name, I just think that the way the love is described in the song is very much how I imagined James and Lily's love to be – passionate, frustrating, fast and pure.**

**Thanks for reading.**


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